Lesson #1:

“Don’t let the past steal your present.” – Terri Guillemets

All you have is right now with them. You can use it hashing up old memories and disagreements, or you can take the moment for what it is.

Lesson #2

It will hurt to watch them suffer, but nothing you do can fix it. It makes us feel better about the situation to be useful and offer support, but in the end it fixes nothing.

Lesson #3

You can both want them to keep an arms length distance from you, and miss their presence. Just because they struggle with addiction doesn’t mean you don’t LOVE them and wish they were around. 

Lesson #4

Having clear boundaries is important for both of you. Addiction can bring out the worst in people so it’s best to set boundaries and stick to them no matter what.

Lesson #5

You will not always understand why they make the choices they make…and that’s okay.

Lesson #6

Blaming just creates more shame based interactions…until they eventually stop coming around altogether.

Lesson #7

It hurts them to hurt you.

Lesson #8

They really do love you.

Lesson #9

You should talk to someone and get the support you need. Loving someone who struggles with addiction is complex. Don’t feel ashamed for this.

Lesson #10

An unexpected goodbye is always a possibility…and that’s heavy.